Tag: north country trail

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Day 13: Wilderness State Park to Mackinaw City

7-18_soggytrailI’m sipping coffee in a cute little bookstore in Mackinaw City, trying to relax myself from the inside out. I walked from Wilderness State Park this morning through truly disgusting conditions. Last night’s storm showed no signs of stopping this morning so I sucked it up and headed out in the driving rain. The trail was so flooded that, for awhile, I was literally walking through a river.  I was mad at the world in my soggy shoes. The rain finally stopped but I’m soaked through.

I found this little shop that sells coffee and postcards I’m sitting here in my muddy gear, trying to act like I belong in a cafe. There are two guys in the back dressing up for an old-timey tourist photo in costumes that include dresses, fans, and long white gloves so I guess I’m not the only self-conscious person here.

Mackinaw City is my last stop in the Lower Peninsula- I’m thrilled to be so close to the mysterious wilderness of the Upper Peninsula! In my mind the UP possesses some quality of “otherness” that is very wild, very remote and very natural. On the opposite end of the spectrum is historical, car-free Mackinac Island- just a ferry ride away from where I am now. My memories of the place are not flattering, I remember the entire island as a tourist trap from which there is no escape. The air as a mixture of extremely sweet fudge and horse dung. I prefer the smell of walking on pine needles (though don’t have the right to cast judgement about smells in my current state.) Anyway, I just think Mackinaw is unfortunate portrayal of Michigan’s version of culture. Continue reading “Day 13: Wilderness State Park to Mackinaw City”

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Day 12: Cross Village to Wilderness State Park

Screen Shot 2014-07-17 at 5.46.00 PMMy motivation has been flagging more and more these last few days, today more so than ever. Sore feet, 90 degree-pus weather, unbearable humidity and buckets of rain have made me doubt how far I’ll make it. I thought seriously about quitting today for the first time when every step made my feet scream. I’ve worried about food and water and getting lost but if my feet don’t work, none of that other stuff matters. I plunked down on the trail and did some surgery on my shoe to alleviate the pressure on my left big toe and things stopped being so dire. But still, I crossed a line- I actually considered quitting!

I set out on this trip without defining an ending. I figured I’d take the Forrest Gump approach and go until I’m ready to go home. I’ve considered various finishing lines, some geographic, some symbolic: hiking to the “End of the Road” in Copper Harbor is the original dream but I might not make it that far; going 500 miles would be really cool; hiking until I’ve been “symptom-free” form bulimia for 4 weeks would be great; or maybe I’ll just keep going and going until I get to Wisconsin or Minnesota or Canada and hitchhike on a sailboat all around the Great Lakes. With no set finish line, there is a danger that I’ll give in to a moment of weakness and quit before I’m really ready but I gave up so much of my life back home for this trip, I think I’ll stay awhile. Continue reading “Day 12: Cross Village to Wilderness State Park”

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Day 11: Crooked Lake to Cross Village

7-16_sunsetLast night I dreamed I was caught by the police in my illegal campsite- I guess nothing is not without costs if you have a guilty conscience! I seem to have an abundance of that. Tonight I’m on the Lake Michigan shore by Cross Village- camping illegally again. It may be the prettiest place I’ve ever slept.

Watching the sunset right now it occurs to me that I have never truly watched a sunset alone. If something is beautiful or appealing to me, why do I always need someone else to enjoy it with? It’s undoubtedly nice to share a sunset or a walk with someone else but a lack of company should be no reason not to do something I like.

I’ve taken a lot of photos and posted 1-Second–Every-Day clips for a compilation video, and Allison wrote that article about me- so many opportunities to be judged and validated by others! I’ve been thinking about how I value other people’s opinion of me so highly, but I forget that I am “other people” to other people. It gives me a mental image of the world where everyone is constantly engaged in assigning value to other people’s stuff and putting their stuff out to be valued by others at the same time. That constant validation cycle is pure folly. I will always care about what other people think- probably more than I’d like to- but I hope at least to judge my acts, opinions, and even photos, for myself first. Continue reading “Day 11: Crooked Lake to Cross Village”

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Day 10: Petoskey to Crooked Lake

7-15_shoreline

Beautiful Petoskey! I’ve been resting here since my birthday walk-a-thon. I’ve walked from the campgrounds along Lake Michigan into town. Mom, Grandma, Sarah and her friend came and visited me yesterday. When Sarah saw me she said “I thought you’d look worse!” so I made sure to show off my blisters, scratches and bruises. Mom gave me a GPS, which I reluctantly accepted since I lost my last one. She also gave me a huge pile of other birthday gifts, which was nice but mostly frustrating. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the gesture and its not that I don’t like what she gave me but I am carrying everything on my back and this trip is not about stuff. I am grateful for Mom’s generosity but getting gifts like that makes me feel icky.

The farther I hike the more remote my surroundings will be- from the relatively populated Traverse City area to the tourist hub of Mackinaw, into the true wilderness of the Upper Peninsula, my trail will become more raw as I gain experience. I wonder if I’ll make it all the way to Copper Harbor and Isle Royale. This week has been hard but I have had the safety net of nearby towns and even my family nearby to offer support if I need it. I look forward to slipping away from those supports. I want to test myself even more. Continue reading “Day 10: Petoskey to Crooked Lake”

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Day 8: Side of the tracks to Petoskey State Park

Today, for my birthday, I trekked 28 miles- one mile for each year of my life. I mentally travelled through the years as I went, remembering where I was, what I did. When I started off this morning, I wasn’t sure if it would be able to do it so I just figured, I’ll try” and what a great feeling to accomplish it!

7-13selfieMom offered to come up to meet me today so we could celebrate my birthday but I decided I wanted to spend it alone. I have a lifetime of birthdays to spend with friends and family and this is a wonderful chance to celebrate with myself. I took a selfie to commemorate the occasion- Happy Birthday to me! Continue reading “Day 8: Side of the tracks to Petoskey State Park”

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Day 7: Landslide Lookout to Side of the tracks

A hard day- fitting for the last in what has been an incredibly tough year. Tomorrow is my birthday.

This morning I crossed the 45th parallel. For a long time I have been searching a way to differentiate the past from the future, a reason why tomorrow will be different from yesterday. I have made promises for tomorrow so many times, only to fall short. It’s like I’ve been saying “I’ll be different starting now….starting now…..starting now…” and after so many failures it’s lost meaning over time. I waScreen Shot 2014-07-12 at 9.21.04 AMnted a line in the sand between the past and the future and now I have one, an invisible but perfect line. Continue reading “Day 7: Landslide Lookout to Side of the tracks”

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Day 6: Pickerel Lake to Landslide Lookout

7-11 sunsetI’m only a mile or two from the 45th parallel, I can feel its energy. The invisible line between the Equator and the North Pole is a symbol to me, a sign of passing from my old life into my new. It’s a way of making a fresh start. I can’t wait to cross it tomorrow.

I’m camping illegally right now but it’s a beautiful spot, I’m not close to any official sites, the sun is setting and I don’t want to go any further.

Continue reading “Day 6: Pickerel Lake to Landslide Lookout”

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Day 4: Sand Lake to Log Lake

I got lost again today, in more ways than one.

Screen Shot 2014-07-11 at 11.57.07 AMThroughout the day I lost the trail a few times, once by a surprisingly wide margin. After blundering awhile with my compass and map, I found myself on a long paved road. I snuck a look in someone’s mailbox and to check the address on their mail and figure out what street I was on. Clever trick right? Yes, but the road on the envelop wasn’t labeled on the map so it didn’t do me any good.  Continue reading “Day 4: Sand Lake to Log Lake”

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Days 1 and 2: Sutton’s Bay to Traverse City

My first night camping! My tent is pitched (hung) and my little stove is fired up, cooking a meal of ramen noodles and sardines. I am proud and happy.

firstday-departureYesterday I was “in training,” hiking the 20-some miles from Sutton’s Bay to Traverse City. The first casualty of procrastination is sleep and I lost almost all of it the night before last as I tried lamely to prepare for whatever it is I am now attempting to do. I sat in the middle of a room with my gear all around me and tried to make sense of it. There was packaging everywhere since pretty much everything was brand-new. Yesterday morning, I woke up ready to go and utterly fearless. I think it was a mix of excitement, shock, determination and sleep deprivation but my brain was laser-focused on “this is it!” I thought of leaving directly from the rental house that my family was staying at, even though there isn’t a trail for 10 miles, but that extra distance would have made it too hard for me to get to Traverse City in one day and it would also have meant that the family would drive by me on the road once they took off, and the start absurdity would definitely have killed mom. So, we ended up all leaving together- me, Mom, Dad, Nikki, and Sarah. They drove me to my trailhead at Sutton’s Bay, pulled over on the side of the road at my trailhead, and, after some surreal goodbyes, I started walking and they drove away. Continue reading “Days 1 and 2: Sutton’s Bay to Traverse City”